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Old Oct 8, 2005, 11:11 PM   #1
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I have a girlfriend and we've been together for awhile now and we live together and its getting kind of serious. And i was really wanting to upgrade to a camera that gives me more control, maybe a dslr. I mentioned this to her in a conversation and shes just like no, theres nothing wrong with the carmera you have now. And yea, shes right because its not broken or anything but I just want more from my camera. Does anyone else have this problem or any similar ones? I know I cant be the only one?

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Old Oct 9, 2005, 6:26 PM   #2
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I know many people who have this problem.
For me it isn't, but then again in my situation we don't mix our money. We split expenses, and we let the other spend their money on what they want to spend it on... as long as it doesn't interfer with their ability to cover the shared expenses. She is slowing shifting to a more compatible spending pattern to my own, so it works out. In my case, I just don't spend money - very simple. Just necessary expenses and things that I want badly (my monitor is dieing, but it still works. While my digital photo editing would be better with a new monitor I'm still researching... I'll do it eventually.)

There are three solutions to your problem that I can see.
1) Get it, hid it, and lie to her. Not a good idea.

2) Keep her happy and don't get. Simple in the short term, but it avoids the problem (you feel you should be able to spend your money as you choose.)

3) Explain to her how you'll save *your* money, and buy it when you've saved enough to afford it (I'm assuming that you actually *can* afford it. If not, then don't get it!) This solution risks really getting her mad (I believe money is the #1 reason for couples to fight.) It seems like she views the money you make as partially hers. Are you allowed to feel this way about the money she earns? If not, then this is a relationship problem waiting to happen. If you can feel this way about her money then you need to talk to her about this.

Do you're research and show that you really mean it (you aren't just impulse buying.) Does she respond to reason (some people do, others don't)? If so, find out how a better camera will help you. Point out shots that you would have gotten with the better camera. Even better, do it with situations that she was there for (so she really understands.)

Good luck, this is not an easy thing to figure out and deal with.

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Old Oct 9, 2005, 7:01 PM   #3
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been there and done that! totally understand what you are going through. i am living with my fiance, and we bought a condo together. our understanding is if we or "I" want or need a big budget item(s) we usually figure if we really need it or would it be smart to spend the money?

2 weeks ago i told her i wanted to step up to a new camera, for me/us and for when we vacation and do family events. she said why do we need it and i told her it was because the camera we have (olympus d-560) is old and outdated and also from day one we have had battery life problems. so i did alot of research on cameras and wanted to go to a dslr, but remembered that lugging around my film slr back in the day with lenses and flashes was a pain on vacation. so i settled on a power zoom, and went with the panny fz5. (size and money factored into this so she would be happy too.)

now i have a camera that will last for a while and is small to take placesand didnt break the bank. i definately would suggest you talk it over and try to get her involved in the possible purchase. maybe if you dont spend as much as you like she may give in, or maybe you could get a second or third job to pay for this and then she really cant be mad about it. i would not lie and hide it that will bite you in the end.

good luck

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Old Oct 9, 2005, 9:12 PM   #4
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Tell your girlfriend that you need a more advanced camera, so that it will enable you to capture her true beauty...more megapixels so that you can blow up pictures of her to poster size...better low-light capability to capture her likeness in romantic settings...you need a better camera to take pictures of her friends at your upcoming wedding...

After you get it, take pictures of your fishing trips, golf outings, hunting trips, football games, etc. If she questions why you don't take pictures of her, tell her that your new camera cost a great deal of money, and you're afraid that taking a picture of her might make the lens crack.

That way, you'll find out if she has a sense of humor, or not. If she does, fine...if she doesn't, that's fine too - at least you'll have your camera.

the Hun

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Old Oct 10, 2005, 4:53 AM   #5
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Tell her: "Ok now I know" " we have OUR money and YOUR money" It is a disease that affects both men and women and it can ruin a lot of otherwise good relationships and sharing. Hope you can figure out a soluion?
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Old Oct 10, 2005, 10:23 AM   #6
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If You can afford it just buy the camera and send Her on Her way. I'm sure if You ever marry Her things will just get worse. "My opinion"
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Old Oct 10, 2005, 12:12 PM   #7
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Glad I've never had this problem and I've had three wives, over ten live in's (LOL)
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Old Oct 11, 2005, 3:18 AM   #8
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As long as you cover your part of the expenses, and put some money away for two romantic dinners a month, she would be very unreasonable not to let you have your camera.

It may be that she is afraid that she will have to cover your side of the expenses if you buy the camera. That whenever you go out to eat for the next 4 months, that she will have to pay the bill.


Itmay be a lot less, but it should still be there.

Tell her: "Woman, I have put away money to cover my part of the expenses, I have put away money for 2 romanticdinners this month. Now get in the kitchen and cook me dinner!! And bring me a beer, a COLD one!"

I also think that she should be able to make the sacrifice of not eating out for a couple of months for you to buy sometihing that will make you happy. You would do the same for her, wouldnt you?

If she covers MORE than half of the expenses (maybe she has a better paying job), then you will probably have to get to the level where you pay your half before you put your foot down. Then you have to be a bit nicer about it.

Also, some financial advice from me: Make sure you have a backup that will not screw you over when emergencies arise. I got some serious car trouble last week. If Ihad budgeted on just a camera, spent all my savings on it, and had no money left to fix the car, I would have had to go into debt to fix it. More than what I could repay with my next months salary anyway.

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Old Oct 11, 2005, 6:39 AM   #9
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Thinking about digital cameras, and forgeting wives for the moment, look on e-bay. All the recent models have a market value. Older models even if they are listed are next to worthless. Of course, you can still use most of them but to also purchase new means that you are going to participate in the on going revolution of digital photography.
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Old Oct 11, 2005, 6:48 AM   #10
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You've got the wrong attitude.

You need to tell her this (and get her to believe it)... "what's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine". :-)

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