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Old Aug 2, 2004, 10:56 AM   #1
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Please tell me what you think. I don't mind if you don't like the blurb of my poem, but pleas tell me if you like the text and whatnot.

Here's the whole poem if you'd like to read it. I tried fitting it all but there was no way.

My head sinks under the water

You're not hearing my screams

You slowly drift away

My voice is silent it seems



Your emotions are a wave

Pummeling high and low

I'm trying to tell you something

Something I need you to know



Soon rage fills my head

I sink farther down

Into a bottomless ocean

My cries have been drowned



You're decaying right here

In front of my eyes

Your heart is decomposed

From disloyalty and lies



But still you don't hear me

My point's not across

Your eyes are dull and blank

Your love is covered in moss



I'm giving up hope

My eyes once sparked with life

Now sit dry and barren

No need for more strife



I rise over the water

Wet from ocean and tears

I throw away the memory

Of all of the years



I hopelessly let go

Turning my back away

A tear streams down my cheek

Forgetting the past I think of today



Here's the pic finally haha


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Old Aug 2, 2004, 4:04 PM   #2
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Wow, Ames, niiiice poem! I think it has risen to my top three of yours.

And I think it fits the picture. But, I like the poem more than the picture! Heehee!

Qual!
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Old Aug 2, 2004, 5:11 PM   #3
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Amy!! OMG!! That poem is so awesome! I didn't know that you wrote poetry. I agree with Jen, I like the picture but no where near as much as I like the poem!


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Old Aug 2, 2004, 7:20 PM   #4
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Beautiful poem Amy, it makes me sad and want to hold you(figuratively) like one of my daughters and tell you everything will be OK.
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Old Aug 2, 2004, 9:47 PM   #5
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Thanks ya'll!

Ang- to read more of my poetry go to www.freewebs.com/smeeten and I have a whole link of all my poetry.
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