Telephoto typically refers to the reach of the lens. Anything over 135mm is definitely a telephoto lens. A 400mm 2.8 lens cannot zoom but it is still telephoto. A 17-55mm can zoom (from 17mm to 55mm) but it itsn't long enough to be considered telephoto.
i wonder if 200mm is long enough for kids sports evens when i'm in the stands...
Again, it depends on the sport. Basketball - it's long enough although your positioning will dictate what types of shots you can get - shots of the back of someone's head usually are very boring. So your shot selection will be somewhat limited by your position in the stands. For something like football or soccer? 200mm would be pretty useless from the stands.
At this point I am going to suggest you start your own thread on the subject - we've left the OP far behind. And his specific needs may differ from yours. So if you have additional questions, please start a new thread and that way we aren't hijacking the OPs thread.