Steve'sDigicams

joe99 · Jun 17, 2004, 4:32 AM

How many photographers it take to change a light bulb two one to change it one to take a photo
Can you do worse or better

digcamfan · Jun 17, 2004, 8:21 AM

Joe...

I shudder to think of thecontributions as your thread matures and all of us forum members are exposed to others' humor. Hopefully, your thread will give us all...

a bit o' cheer.

Yes,your threadlends itself to a myriad of possibilities.

gibsonpd3620 · Jun 17, 2004, 9:11 AM

A photographer was entering an airplane on a trip to California to shoot a swim suit eventand he had a coach ticket. The flight attendant try to direct him to the coach section when he saw the first class cabin and he decided to set in the first class section. The flight attendant pleaded with him to move to the coach but to no avail. The flight attendant summoned the captain for assistance. The captain came to the first class cabin and whispered something to the photographer and he immediately went to the coach section. The flight attendant asked the captain what did you say to him. The captain replied: I told him that this part of the plane did not fly to California.

Tomsch · Jun 17, 2004, 10:15 AM

What's the difference between artists and photographers? Two artists can meet and talk without comparing their paint brushes!

joe99 · Jun 18, 2004, 3:55 AM

What do you call a photographer with no clothes on taking a picture?

Tripod

Ronnie948 · Jun 18, 2004, 8:37 AM

I asked My very beutiful model if I could photograph Her in the nude.

She replied-----"NO" "You have to keep Your cloths on"

bradg · Jun 18, 2004, 10:38 PM

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants.

Bartender says, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants?"

Pirate says, "Aye! It's driving me nuts!"

Q:
How do you catch a polar bear?

A:
Simple, all you do is cut a hole in the ice and put peas around the hole. When a polar bear comes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.

Blonde, with burning house: Please help me! Please, please help me my house is on fire!!!

Dispatcher: Ma'am, ma'am....

Blonde: please hurry, help, please help me!!!

Dispatcher: Ma'am, calm down, listen, I need to know how to get to your house!

Blonde:......duh! Big red truck!

so stupid, there funny....

...i'dont have any good photo jokes, just stupid jokes....

bradg · Jun 18, 2004, 10:50 PM

hows this?

How many photographers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
10.
1 to screw it in, and 9 to go '..it's been done before...'

off topic put along the same lines as that one^

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb??

Two,... but I don't know how they both got in there.

i know, its dirty, but you cant tell me you didnt laugh...

bradg · Jun 18, 2004, 11:38 PM

on april 1st, i was shooting a football game from the top of the bleachers with loaned body and 300mm f/2.8 with 2x tc, i was about 50ft in the air....with a buddy photog next to me talking

before the game, i had a old 50mm f/1.8 that was broke, so i took all but one screw out and brought it with me

i said i was going to get some wide angle shots, and took off the 300 and set it down, and got out my 50mm, knocking a lenspen out of the bag(on purpuse)

i went to hand my buddy the lens so i could put the pen back in the bag and zip the bag up

there was a set of concret stairs all the way to the botom from the top, so i went to hand it to him and droped it before he could grap it, it started to fall, he tried to save it but it went crashing down the stairs, 50ft all the way to the bottom

the lens shatered on the seconed bounce...

my buddys jaw droped

after about a min of silence, i started laghing.....

he still hasnt goten me back...but i know he will

bradg · Jun 18, 2004, 11:44 PM

here is a photog joke, bewarned, its kinda dirty, only if you have a dirty mind

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to...."

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

"Don't I know!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London."

"Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture.

"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your, eh......equipment?"

"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."

"Tripod??", Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam? Madam?..... Good Lord, she's fainted!!"

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Jun 17, 2004, 4:32 AM	#1
joe99 Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 7	How many photographers it take to change a light bulb two one to change it one to take a photo Can you do worse or better

Jun 17, 2004, 8:21 AM	#2
digcamfan Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 3,422	Joe... I shudder to think of thecontributions as your thread matures and all of us forum members are exposed to others' humor. Hopefully, your thread will give us all... a bit o' cheer. Yes,your threadlends itself to a myriad of possibilities.

Jun 17, 2004, 9:11 AM	#3
gibsonpd3620 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 3,585	A photographer was entering an airplane on a trip to California to shoot a swim suit eventand he had a coach ticket. The flight attendant try to direct him to the coach section when he saw the first class cabin and he decided to set in the first class section. The flight attendant pleaded with him to move to the coach but to no avail. The flight attendant summoned the captain for assistance. The captain came to the first class cabin and whispered something to the photographer and he immediately went to the coach section. The flight attendant asked the captain what did you say to him. The captain replied: I told him that this part of the plane did not fly to California.

Jun 17, 2004, 10:15 AM	#4
Tomsch Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 442	What's the difference between artists and photographers? Two artists can meet and talk without comparing their paint brushes!

Jun 18, 2004, 3:55 AM	#5
joe99 Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 7	What do you call a photographer with no clothes on taking a picture? Tripod

Jun 18, 2004, 8:37 AM	#6
Ronnie948 Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 721	I asked My very beutiful model if I could photograph Her in the nude. She replied-----"NO" "You have to keep Your cloths on"

Jun 18, 2004, 10:38 PM	#7
bradg Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 819	A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. Bartender says, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants?" Pirate says, "Aye! It's driving me nuts!" Q: How do you catch a polar bear? A: Simple, all you do is cut a hole in the ice and put peas around the hole. When a polar bear comes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole. Blonde, with burning house: Please help me! Please, please help me my house is on fire!!! Dispatcher: Ma'am, ma'am.... Blonde: please hurry, help, please help me!!! Dispatcher: Ma'am, calm down, listen, I need to know how to get to your house! Blonde:......duh! Big red truck! so stupid, there funny.... ...i'dont have any good photo jokes, just stupid jokes....

Jun 18, 2004, 10:50 PM	#8
bradg Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 819	hows this? How many photographers does it take to screw in a light bulb? 10. 1 to screw it in, and 9 to go '..it's been done before...' off topic put along the same lines as that one^ How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?? Two,... but I don't know how they both got in there. i know, its dirty, but you cant tell me you didnt laugh...

Jun 18, 2004, 11:38 PM	#9
bradg Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 819	on april 1st, i was shooting a football game from the top of the bleachers with loaned body and 300mm f/2.8 with 2x tc, i was about 50ft in the air....with a buddy photog next to me talking before the game, i had a old 50mm f/1.8 that was broke, so i took all but one screw out and brought it with me i said i was going to get some wide angle shots, and took off the 300 and set it down, and got out my 50mm, knocking a lenspen out of the bag(on purpuse) i went to hand my buddy the lens so i could put the pen back in the bag and zip the bag up there was a set of concret stairs all the way to the botom from the top, so i went to hand it to him and droped it before he could grap it, it started to fall, he tried to save it but it went crashing down the stairs, 50ft all the way to the bottom the lens shatered on the seconed bounce... my buddys jaw droped after about a min of silence, i started laghing..... he still hasnt goten me back...but i know he will

Jun 18, 2004, 11:44 PM	#10
bradg Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 819	here is a photog joke, bewarned, its kinda dirty, only if you have a dirty mind The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to...." "Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in. "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies." "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing. "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out." "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me." "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith. "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure." "Don't I know!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London." "Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief. "And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture. "She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look." "Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement. "Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in." Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your, eh......equipment?" "That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work." "Tripod??", Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now. "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam? Madam?..... Good Lord, she's fainted!!"