Here's the latest thoughts...I've canned the idea of getting the 40D. It's a great deal on a great camera but I really want the AF illuminator light and I don't want to have to have the external flash attached to get it. So...I'm back in the Nikon camp.
Since I can't afford a D90 I have decided to get the D60 and the 18-105mm VRwith a SB-400 Flash. Hopefully, we can save up and/or the price will go down and we can upgrade to a D90 someday. Or maybe the D60 replacement will have 90% of what the D90 offers and we will move to that. I still want to handlea D60a bit more before committing to it (don't want to get 'Sony-ed' again!) since it is quite a bit smaller than our old D80 but I think we have a winner. At this point the only other option is to get a new D80 ($600 for body) or a D200 ($650 at bestbuy) but that eats up a lot of the budget and leaves little to nothing for lenses, what good is a great camera without a good lens, and they all have the same sensor anyway.