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Old Nov 11, 2004, 4:32 PM   #1
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Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the European Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving efficiency in communications between Government departments.

European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult - for example, cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased programme of changes to iron out these anomalies. The programme would, of course, be administered by a committee staff at top level by participating nations.

In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using 's' instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k' sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up
konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made with one less letter.

There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it kould be announsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written 'f'. This would make words like 'fotograf' twenty per sent shorter in print.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible. Governments would enkourage the removal of double letters which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.

We would al agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful. Therefor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ as though nothing had hapend. By this tim it would be four years sins the skem began and peopl would be reseptive to steps sutsh as replasing 'th'
by 'z'. Perhaps zen ze funktion of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v', vitsh is, after al, half a 'w'. Shortly after zis, ze unesesary 'o kould be dropd from words kontaining 'ou'. Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls, difikultis and evrivun vud fin it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drems of the Guvermnt vud finali hav kum tru.
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Old Nov 11, 2004, 5:32 PM   #2
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Kalypso wrote:
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Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the European Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving efficiency in communications between Government departments.

European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult - for example, cough, plough, rough, through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased programme of changes to iron out these anomalies. The programme would, of course, be administered by a committee staff at top level by participating nations.

In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using 's' instead of the soft 'c'.
If that's true... it's awful, simply. My mother language is spanish and there have been some attempts to "simplify" it by taking out the "ñ" or the tildes (´) from it. Or by turning the C into K or / and S... why don't people just learn a language correctly? Awful.
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Old Nov 11, 2004, 6:55 PM   #3
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Hmm, that sounds a lot like carrying german to the extreme well beyond any sence of logic. Though i do agree that using s for the c int city or k for the c in computer just makes sense. As hard as i had learning english as kid and the difficulty that those in nonenglish speaking countries; one word we could be speaking german :-) and we would be spared of those horrendous abominations in america to.
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Old Nov 11, 2004, 7:20 PM   #4
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Phhhhtttt...

Oops...cheeky.

My bad.

:blah:
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Old Nov 11, 2004, 8:07 PM   #5
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That was just a retribution for gray. The proper spelling is as it always was grey. :lol: Just have to keep a sense of humor and perhaps laugh at ourselves.
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Old Nov 12, 2004, 12:12 AM   #6
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Each language has its quirks...although english does have its odd spellings (knife) and pronounciations (lose/chose loose/choose), other languages like french and german are far worse with masculine, feminine, and neutral words...is a "car" masculine, or feminine (to me it's an "IT"), or how about a computer?

- Why is abbreviation such a long word?
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Old Nov 12, 2004, 7:17 AM   #7
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Some seem to think that we should go the other way!

In my son's fishing magazine a few months back, someone had come up with a new spelling for the word "fish". Taking "gh" from laugh, "o" from women, and "ti" from nation, "fish" is now to be spelt "ghoti"!

Regards, John
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Old Nov 12, 2004, 10:01 AM   #8
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Perhaps mike, but for those of us who have a hard time with english despite speaking english natively; would love to just have to worry about gender rather than "what the devil does that mean?."(There you go whatever happens there anyway the end of the sentence and a question quote :?)
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Old Nov 12, 2004, 11:18 AM   #9
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Uuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...ya'll realize that it was a joke don't you???

My dogs name is Fido, but he comes if you call "Phydeaux"!
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Old Nov 12, 2004, 11:49 AM   #10
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Well, Kalypso, I have to admit to being unsure whether this was a joke or not, but I am thankful to hear that it is.

You may take me for a gullible Englishman, but here in England we hear so manyreports of the transactions of the European Parliamentwhich sound like jokes, but are not, that we almost feel that the more farcical it sounds, the more likely it is to be true :sad:

John
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